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I am an optimist. Sometimes to a fault. I tend to assume nothing is dire until it is proven so. For the most part, I’m inclined to believe things will work out. I realize such an outlook isn’t always the more realistic perspective, but that’s how I roll.
However, unlike the eternal optimist that I am, I’ve been waiting for Greta’s high school honeymoon phase to end. It’s not about being a negative Nelly; it’s about having lived through this process for what feels like a million times. Now in her fifth week of a new school, I am so pleased with her start to the year. But I’ll be honest — I have been waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. Well, this afternoon it went “BANG!”
It could have been worse. I could have included physical aggression, a bathroom accident, or the removal of clothing. Thank goodness it didn’t involve any of those.
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It starts with a call from her teacher, Miss C, 25 minutes before Greta’s 2:15 dismissal time. Greta has been uncharacteristically quiet and uncommunicative for about an hour and is sort of “spacing out”. They are concerned about her, wondering if she’s not feeling well or if this might be part of her narcolepsy.
I tell her Greta has been very tired since about last Thursday, needing extra nap time, going to bed earlier than usual. I think the first few weeks of school are catching up with her and she’s hitting a wall. I suggest a strategy to get her “unstuck”: switch off the person talking to her and bring in a new face, a new voice. Get someone to talk quite loudly and a bit excitedly; sometimes that snaps her out of it.
The second phone call comes at 2:15… they got Greta as far as the hallway and then she began yelling and crying and sat down on the floor. She has missed her bus. I call Huntington House and Rachel leaves to go collect her.
I call the school back to tell Miss C the plan and give her some tips to get Greta moving to the office. Tell her someone from Huntington House is coming to get her, and you will tell her who it is once her bag is packed and she’s in the office. Or make up a story… “Did I tell you what animals I saw on my way to work this morning?? Let’s get your bag and go to the office and I’ll tell you”.
The trick is to find a topic that is motivating enough for her to want to find out. Then every time she tries to engage you in conversation about it, you repeat “I’ll tell you after you get your bag and we are in the office.” “Oh! First we need to get to the office and then I can tell you.”
Long story, short — After Rachel arrives around 2:50, it takes another hour to get Greta out to the car. At 3:47 I get the text: Heading home now. I feel anxious, worried, uneasy, and I wasn’t even “on the ground” dealing with it!
But guess what? I am still optimistic.
I’ve had a debrief from staff at Huntington House, and a chance to talk with Greta. I’ll chat with Miss C before school tomorrow morning: ask her about antecedents and potential triggers, suggest strategies for going forward.
It’s tiring. So I need optimism, or the negative will overwhelm me. I need faith, or I’ll be too exhausted to coach and advocate. I just hope my positivity will be enough to get us all through.